One of the challenges with self change or trying to live to 100 is how to keep it front of mind. We’ve all felt that wave of enthusiasm on the first of January when it’s ‘out with the old and in with the new’ or ‘new year new you’. It’s enthralling, the idea of positive change and improving one's life. But come March we’re back doing the same old thing, living the same old way.
This program is all about habits, routines and rituals, and how it impacts your lifestyle and ultimately the vision for the way you want to live. Technically speaking, habits are easy to change - just do the same thing in the same way often enough and hey presto you have it. But I feel like there’s something missing. A foundation for setting the stage..
To me, the essence of making change lies in the memory of why we want to make it in the first place. I’ve spoken about writing your vision statement in the past, but there’s no point in having one if you don’t recall it when it matters. I’m going to propose to you a habit xero; a simple statement you can recall that will guide your thoughts from the here and now to the distant future. It’ll enable you to consider why this tiny little action matters and will show you how it snowballs into the bigger picture of the things you want out of life. The best part is it works in reverse too, highlighting why maybe you ought to avoid certain tendencies by impressing the reason you started on this journey.
Frankly if you take nothing more than this statement from the 100to100 program, I’ll be thrilled! I want this to live in your head forever. Because if it does, the impact on your life will be astonishing. So what is habit xero?
IF THIS - THEN THAT - SO WHAT
If I do this, then that will happen, but so what? It’s an incredibly simple phrase, but when applied to your daily actions, all of a sudden you have something powerful. The ability to be mindful of the outcomes and consequences of what you do - BEFORE it happens. Before I break down the components of habit xero let’s consider that for a moment.
The reason we fail at any change in behavior is because we are not in the moment. To make a change of any sort requires intentionality, being mindful of what it is you're doing and why you’re doing it. Let’s go back to the new year’s resolution. We resolved to make a year long change, which likely required doing (or not doing) something on a daily basis. But somewhere along the line there’s a disconnect between the noble desire to become something else in the future and the habitual tendencies already ingrained in our complex, busy lives. You knew that regular exercise was important to becoming fitter but you didn’t connect the gap between where you are now and where you want to be later - most importantly you didn’t consider WHY.
That’s the bottom line, why we do things matters immensely. Habits may feel mechanical, but they are absolutely driven by desire and emotion. Creating meaningful change means considering the meaning behind, and that’s where habit xero comes into play. Ok let’s break it down.
IF THIS
The simplest place to start is what is it I want to do? If I do X. If I go to the gym; if I eat this apple; if I call my brother. This is your starting point and it’s not hard to see at all. You can consider this as your action, the smallest tangible thing you can do (or avoid).
THEN THAT
Next we’ll consider the effect of what you do. Something you can see a little way down the road, but not so far it’s obscured. If I go to the gym, I’ll get stronger; If I eat this apple, I’ll improve my gut health; If I call my brother, I’ll improve our relationship. Generally speaking this is where most people with the best of intentions stop. They’ve connected the cause and effect, but not created meaning. In order to do so, you’ll need to follow up with one last point.
SO WHAT
My university lecturers always said if you can say, "So what?” after your statement then it doesn’t matter how interesting or clever it may be - it has no practical meaning and therefore isn’t useful. Now that’s fairly extreme, but it makes a good point. Knowing the cause and effect of your actions is good, but it won’t keep you motivated forever. So what is the consequence? This is where you can be abstract and daydream a little. And that’s why we’re here - we’re daydreaming about the possibilities of a better existence.
If I go to the gym, I’ll get stronger so that I can play with my grandkids when I’m 80. If I eat this apple, I’ll improve my gut health, so that I’m more resilient to getting sick; If I call my brother, I’ll improve our relationship so that we can rely on each other in times of need.
Living to 100
The real magic of habit xero lies in the ‘so what’ part of the statement. If this, then that is fairly mechanical - very closely linked to each other and can be seen without much imagination. But when you apply ‘so what’, you can bring any dimension into the equation that matters to you. One day going to the gym may mean I want to break my personal best, another day may mean improving bone density so you can remain active later in life or it could mean just an excuse to get out of the house. The point is to ask, “so what?” and give yourself a chance to connect cause and effect with consequence.
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